Stress Management & Counseling for Black Women & Men in Dallas, Texas

What’s Stress?

Stress is the body’s natural reaction to potential harm — whether that harm is real or perceived (imagined).  When we feel threatened our body mobilizes and produces a chemical reaction releasing stress hormones (cortisol) that allows us to act in a way to prevent harm.  This reaction is called our “fight-or-flight” or ‘natural stress response’.  During this natural stress response, our heart rate increases,  breathing becomes more rapid, muscles tense up becoming tight, and blood pressure rises.  Essentially your body has prepared itself to act in self-protection.  

However as this natural stress response activates, higher cognitive functions decline with the released stress hormones dramatically impairing concentration and our overall thinking ability.   As we’re all different,  what triggers stress in one person may not on another and so our individual ability to cope with stress varies from person to person.

Stay mindful not all stress is unhealthy and in small doses, can be helpful in accomplishing tasks and preventing harm.  For example, when driving a car,  it’s stress that triggers you to use the brakes, slow down, and maneuver the car safely.  Though we’re all made and capable of handling small doses of stress or “acute stress” which is short-lived,  we are not built to manage “chronic stress”, which is steady over a long period of time.  

Chronic stress emerges when our body experiences stressors so frequently and or intensely that it cannot adequately “keep up” and counterbalance the accompanying chemical surge with relaxation responses such as a good night’s sleep.  With chronic stress, the hormone cortisol has flooded our body and as a consequence we remain in a constant state of “fight or flight high alert”  with the chemical surge affecting every system in the body, directly or indirectly. 

What Are Stress Symptoms?

Stress can affect all aspects of our lives, including our thinking ability, physical health, emotions, and behaviors.  Because we all perceive and cope with stress differently, symptoms too can be different from person to person, including being vague and similar to those caused by medical conditions.  Common stress symptoms include:

Emotional symptoms of stress:

• Becoming easily frustrated, agitated, & moody
• Feeling overwhelmed, sensing losing control or needing to take control
• Difficulty in trying to relax, wind down, & quiet your mind
• Feeling a decline in self-esteem & self worth, feeling lonely
• Avoiding people

Physical symptoms:

• Low energy
• Headaches
• Upset stomach, including constipation, diarrhea, and nausea
• Tense muscles, aches & pains
• Chest pain and rapid heartbeat
• Insomnia
• Frequent colds and infections
• Loss of sexual desire and/or ability
• Nervousness and shaking, cold or sweaty hands and feet, ringing in the ears, dry mouth and difficulty swallowing
• Clenched jaw and teeth grinding  

Cognitive symptoms:

• Constant worrying
• Racing thoughts
• Forgetfulness and disorganization
• Inability to focus
• Poor judgment
• Pessimism or focusing on the negative side

Behavioral symptoms:

• Changes in appetite and diet — eating too little or too much
• Procrastinating & avoiding responsibilities
• More use of alcohol or cigarettes, prescribed meds or drugs
• Increased nervous behaviors, like pacing, fidgeting, & nail biting 

Consequences of Chronic Stress

While small doses of stress is not something that could be considered alarming, however continuous chronic stress can trigger or worsen serious health issues:

• Mental health concerns, such as depression, anxiety,  and personality disorders
• Cardiovascular disease, including high blood pressure, heart disease, abnormal heart rhythms, strokes, & heart attacks
• Obesity and other eating disorders
• Menstrual problems
• Sexual dysfunction, premature ejaculation in men,  impotence, a loss of sexual desire in both men and women
• Skin and hair problems, such as psoriasis,  eczema, acne,  and permanent hair loss
• Gastrointestinal problems, such as gastritis, ulcerative colitis, GERD, and irritable colon

The Big Misconception about Stress

One big misconception about stress involves searching for a singular cause.  While it’s valid that we can experience one traumatic experience causing us to feel overwhelmed, generally chronic stress is the product of an accumulation of multiple stressors.  

As a metaphor for stress, imagine pouring water into a glass.  The glass has a capacity and thus can hold only so much water. When the water being poured reaches the top of the glass it spills over.  When it spills, we blame the spillage on that final amount that was immediately just poured  into the glass prior to the point of spilling, as opposed to the water already in the glass that accumulated having been poured into the glass at earlier point.  

Our perception of stress works in a similar way:  we dial in on what immediately preceded our awareness of stress-related symptoms, and assign blame accordingly.  Often, the identified and assumed trigger seems “too small” to have produced such a significant reaction, but in reality,  it’s simply the last and final drop poured – in a glass that has accumulated multiple stressors over a previous amount of time and was already filled to the brim or breaking point. 

Black Women & Stress

Research has shown that Black women not only experience disproportionately higher rates of untreated or mistreated psychological conditions but also the highest “allostatic load” of stress (the cumulative burden of chronic stress and life events) – compared to white women and white men. 

While the strong Black woman is a well deserved cultural icon, clinging to that profile rather than recognizing and addressing the stress so many Black women (for understandable reasons) have often results in compromised health.  Specifically, maintaining the cultural expectation of the Black woman being strong, and the stress that accompanies that branding, can lead to depression, anxiety, hypertension, heart disease, diabetes and more – if not counterbalanced with effective stress reducing responses.

Many Black women feel a ‘cultural dilemma’ in that the iconic strong Black woman is so deeply ingrained as a way of life that we often know no other way to be.  It’s reflected in our hustle, determination, and ability to get back up and on our feet regardless of how frequently we are knocked down.  Our love for friends, family and community is unbound — frequently at our own personal sacrifice.  Black women hold their heads up high, eager to accept all challenges should anyone question our capability or talents.  Black women are well versed in pushing down any pain and presenting a smile no matter what we’ve endured.  

However historically, all this grit and determination has come at a cost to Black women, who have a life expectancy that’s 3 years less than white women, due to root causes related to stress.

Tragically for Black women, that cultural badge of being strong has also meant suppressing how you really feel, including holding stress within yourself, to yourself – in shame and secrecy.  Black women are skilled in pretending the hurt, worry, sadness, and disappointment aren’t there.  The reality is not only is the stress there but it’s become ‘chronic’ and starts to affect all aspects of your life, such as work,  family responsibilities,  relationships, and personal health.  

Not many Black women have been taught, or have seen modeled, how to recognize symptoms of stress and talk about it.  Historically we’ve managed through our feelings by pushing them aside,  stoically keeping our eye on the prize and getting work done.   

While it’s true some people do reach out to a therapist when they’re in crisis or during stressful life events, the definition of “stressful life event” is a little different for everyone.  We all have unique triggers and life experiences – and it’s smart and sensible to ‘get ahead of things’ in their infancy before they worsen.  It’s always a good time to reach out to a therapist but even better when you anticipate a stressful event awaits going forward.  

What I want Black women to know about my practice is that people come to see me to understand themselves better, to work through areas that are more difficult, and to improve their ability to thrive and cope with stress and adversity.   Seeking therapy is a routine and preventive form of healthcare, like going to the dentist or the doctor and as a therapist I serve you kind of like as a personal trainer but for the betterment of your mind, relationships, goals and aspirations.

Black Men & Stress

Research has shown Black men, regardless of their socio-economic status, experience greater early health deterioration than White men that only gets worse over time, as a result of “persistent, high-effort coping with acute and chronic stressors”.

Stress is everywhere in the daily lives of Black men and added to this are traditional masculinity expectations and roles that have caused Black men to struggle with being open, vulnerable and sharing their feelings and emotions — making them even less likely to seek help. 

Black men are subject to unique challenges that other men are not – because of the focus and attention placed on their physicality — and generally not on their emotional or mental intelligence.   In many environments, Black men are expected to be physically strong and resilient – only. They are encouraged to engage and thrive in physical activities such as sports, but not in activities that support emotional or mental growth.

The foundation of the Black masculinity framework is laid early, with many Black men raised believing discussing or exploring emotional or psychological concerns is in direct contradiction to societal expectations, not only pointless, but a sign of weakness. Despite these troubling norms and the frequent inner struggle over vulnerability, more and more Black men are sharing their challenges with mental health and in particular, stress.

What I want Black men to know about my practice is that people come to see me to understand themselves better, to work through areas that are more difficult, and to improve their ability to thrive and cope with stress and adversity.  Treatment is entirely confidential and I am ethically bound to maintain your confidentiality.  Black men should not worry about any skeletons; they are safe with me. You have probably heard it a million times, but it’s very true.  Sometimes the most courageous and strongest gesture we can make to ourselves and our loved ones is to explore and have a conversation with a therapist.  Seeking therapy is a routine and preventive form of healthcare, like going to the dentist or the doctor and as a therapist I serve you kind of like a personal trainer but for the betterment of your mind, relationships, goals and aspirations. 

Types of Therapy for Stress

Stress is a natural part of life and what matters most is how you manage it. Below are 2 commonly used therapies for stress, I offer them both and several more however and it’s worth noting cognitive behavioral therapy is the ‘gold-standard treatment for stress. 

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) 

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for stress is founded on the premise that it’s not only the events in our lives that produce our stress, it’s also the way we think about them. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can empower you with a new perspective on your situations to where you understand how certain thinking and behavior patterns can increase levels of stress. It can also help you to form new thinking and behavior patterns enabling you to quickly identify stress causing triggers and improve your confidence and ability to cope with stressful situations more effectively.

For example, two people driving their cars are caught in traffic. One person might view this traffic jam as an opportunity to get lost in thought or listen to music and become (or remain) calm and relaxed.  Another person may focus on the feeling of being trapped and or the wasted time  and become distressed.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) will surface in your situations how your  thoughts and any negative self-talk affects your experiences and can lead to a calm demeanor or triggered stress response.  The key to stop and reroute negative self-talk is identifying it from the start.  Similar to managing an allergy, you need to recognize what is causing the negative reaction to know what to avoid or change. Once you identify the trigger causing you to think negatively, you can explore ways to adjust or reframe your own behavior accordingly.

Emotion Focused Therapy

Emotion-focused therapy achieves healing from the belief that our emotions are tightly and strongly linked to our identity.  It’s emotion that guides our decision making and selecting of preferences on a daily basis. 

Emotion-focused therapy is based on the understanding that:

• Emotional awareness is essential and lacking it is harmful
• Negative outcomes generally  arise from avoiding our emotions
• Continually avoiding or ignoring your emotional response can hinder your ability to process emotions down the line

The goal of emotion-focused therapy is to empower you in becoming less emotionally reactive to your daily stressors.  Essentially you learn how to shift how you experience potential triggers of stress thereby reducing their negative impact. Emotion-focused therapy makes it so you don’t need to wait for things to change around you – it’s you that disempowers what were your former triggers of stress.  This reduces chronic stress by giving your body a chance to apply a stress response to counterbalance any high levels of the hormone cortisol and come down from being in a constant state of high flight or fight alert.